Yesterday I sat down with the partner of my RE and talked about my pelvic pain. “Pelvic pain”….it sounds like a bad garage band from middle school, but unfortunately it is my life. To be more specific my pain is mostly intermittent and on the lower left side. I also have progressively worsening cramps before and during my period. Lately, when I bother to take the Prometrium every 3 months, I’m a mess on the couch gobbling Tylenol 3’s begged from HoneyBee, whose doctor is a real life Dr. Feel Good that gives HoneyBee narcotics for a hangnail, while I whimper and hemorrhage quietly in the corner. After about a year of progressively awful symptoms, MRI’s, sonograms, exams, a colonoscopy, and lots of frustration we have come to the conclusion that a lap might be warranted. Granted, I haven’t wanted one, and endometriosis in someone with premature ovarian failure isn’t common, but, I’ve been taking HRT for a while and I’ve been responding to fertility drugs giving me plenty of estrogen to feed the beast (if there is one).

Let me take a second to say that I love my RE (in the way that one loves the man that sees her naked from the waist down and tries to get her pregnant repeatedly). I had a pre-op for the laparoscopy with Dr. B (the partner) because my RE, Dr. S., no longer does them. In our discussion it comes out that basically both doctors feel that chances of finding anything wrong are low and basically it is a diagnostic surgery to prove nothing is wrong. I’m insulted. This smacks of indulgence and hypochondria-two things I’m NOT a fan of! While I don’t want endometriosis or any sort of illness, something is wrong, and I want an answer. Is it bad that now I want to have endometriosis only to prove them wrong? A sort of perfectionism gone awry.

Note to wordpress: Learn that both Prometrium and endometriosis are real words….you’ll be seeing them a lot here