I went to yoga this morning, and the instructor was a sub. As everyone was wandering in to class I introduced myself to the instructor and asked if we could do some hip opening poses because I’m a sucker for pigeon pose. It just feels so good. She responded by saying that she wanted to focus on twisting today. OK. I hate twisting. I feel like I’m squeezing my reproductive organs and I always end up with something pinched in my back the day after. Also, isn’t this class for the students? Shouldn’t she be open to suggestions and requests from the participants? I don’t go to a super intense yoga studio or anything; it’s a one hour class at my gym, and often the instructors solicit requests from the crowd.

Anyway, the instructor must have seen my look of disdain at the word “twisting” because after I sat back down she walked up to me and asked me if I wanted to avoid twisting because I was pregnant. I said that pregnancy wasn’t the case, but I might skip it anyway. She walked directly back to the front of the class and went on to introduce herself and mention twisting and pregnancy to the whole group. Why did she have to ask me personally if she was going to mention it to the whole yoga class anyway? Grrrr.

I don’t look pregnant. I was wearing a fitted top and yoga pants, nothing empire waisted, forgiving, or possibly hiding a surprise in my uterus. I’m tiny and not carrying any fertility drug poundage these days. Not that this really matters or makes a difference; I guess I could have been very early.

As I write it out I feel a little crazy. I mean she probably thinks she needs to ask to be a responsible instructor, but why single me out if you are going to talk to the entire class anyway? And, it isn’t just this one situation where I feel like there’s a pregnancy spotlight on me. I know I’m more sensitive than the fertiles, but really, It happens a lot. There must be a sign on my back, “Please address pregnancy related inquiries to this woman”

Public service announcement: don’t fucking ask me if I am pregnant, might be pregnant, or if I dreamed I was pregnant unless I’m crowning in your face.