We are probably going to sit out the next few months of the fertility game. I kept thinking we would do another cycle next month (pretty much each month since June), and every few weeks something would come up that would make that particular month not work-my surgery, HoneyBee’s crazy work schedule, HoneyBee being sick, some big bills due, my other medical issues, traveling. There seemed to be some event or problem all summer. And then I talked to my rheumatologist last week and I decided to bite the bullet.

I’m going to try a new medication for the next few months and see how I’m doing with my auto-immune issues. If it doesn’t make a difference, I’m no worse off. If it does help, even better.

It’s hard. I hate that I need to postpone trying for a baby to try a medication. Well, I guess I don’t HAVE to, but it’s the responsible thing to do. I hate even more that I might have to weigh taking a medication while pregnant (granted, of all the meds this one seems well studied). I’m trying hard not to play the what if game and focus on each decision as it comes. I’m deciding to try the medication now. In 3 months we’ll decide if we should do a cycle. We’ll also decide if we stay on the med for the cycle etc. etc. One at a time. One at a time. I’m such a planner.

Oh, and yesterday I had super fertile cervical mucous. Way to fuck with my head, hormones! I call bullshit! Besides, HoneyBee is traveling for work, so it is all for naught. If I ovulate on my own for the first time in 10 years, and he missed it, I’ll be really cranky.