A few years ago I saw a therapist with the express goal of “getting over” my POF. You see, I was diagnosed several years prior, and I was still devastated, absolutely damaged over the idea of not having biological children. While this seems completely reasonable to me now-of course I was still upset, it was a major, life altering diagnosis with physical as well as emotional ramifications, but at the time I felt like even more of a failure for not being over my anguish after a few years. Yes, I am type A, why do you ask?

After several sessions, my therapist gently suggested that maybe POF isn’t something I need to try to “get over”. Maybe it would be better for me to find a way to make space for my grief and disappointment and anger and understand that I’ll probably always carry some hurt. Focusing on how I should be over it was only adding insult to injury.

That was the best return for my copay in years.

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