Thanks for the very kind (and practical) advice on the Thanksgiving post. I’m finally back home after my travels and holiday cheer. To follow up with the redux-

Wednesday night I started sniffling and sneezing. I feel like I’ve spent the last 3 months having a cold, dealing with allergies, or recovering from both. Coughing is a hobby. Phlegm is my accessory. Cranky, I gobbled my Sudafed and Mucinex, sprayed saline up my nose, choked on the saline and made gross noises (and I wonder why Honey Bee travels so much for work?). I hoped that a good sleep would put my immune system back on the right track…no such luck.

At 6 am on Thursday I’m shaken out of my achy sleep by my cell phone. A few weeks ago, knowing that my flight wasn’t until the afternoon on Thanksgiving, I offered to take the early morning call for the women’s organization where I volunteer. Unfortunately, I ended up at the hospital with a client in crisis. Always a difficult and emotional situation, it seemed particularly cruel that she would face this trauma on Thanksgiving.  Not to minimize my feelings about infertility, I’ve spent enough hours on the therapy couch to know better, but the work I do with this organization always makes me remember to count my blessings and wish peace for the clients we serve.

I grabbed a quick nap at home before packing and leaving for the airport all the while producing impressive amounts of snot, taking so much Sudafed I started to shake, and grumbling to myself about a sinus transplant.

The time with my friend and her family was a nice break. I called her on Thursday before I left to warn her of my plague. I promised to make an effort to not cough on anyone directly and to wash my hands repeatedly. My friend was pretty chill about the whole thing, and actually handed me the baby (5 months) quite a few times. I guess when you have a needy toddler, a house full of guests, a huge dinner to prepare, and a cranky dog, you’ll happily pass off the baby to anyone slightly competent that won’t drop her, knows how to diaper, and can make her giggle, even the virus-ridden likes of me.  While there were moments of jealousy and awe over her babies, I was so distracted by my virus that I think I did well. I ended up going to bed early a few times and drinking less than I might have otherwise, but baby C is my new all time favorite, and I want to steal her! It reaffirms that getting to the other side of infertility (hopefully I make it there) is worth all that I’m dealing with now.

As for the rest of the trip, I called the pregnant friend to tell her about my cold and told her I didn’t feel comfortable staying with her because I was really sick. I stayed with another friend at her mom’s house (it was just like 8th grade, 17 years later!). I also called the due date twin with my viral news and offered to visit at Christmas instead. By Sunday the death rattle was leaving my lungs, and I visited the pregnant one for an hour to see her new house (yes, a new husband, house, and baby on the way all in under 3 months this summer). We had a nice visit, but she wouldn’t stop going on and on about if they would have one more or two more after this baby….she already has 2 boys from a previous marriage. I’m happy that she’s so happy now and I realize that my barren womb makes me extra sensitive, but it grated on my nerves that she wouldn’t shut up about it. Once or twice is fine, but it felt like the never ending fertility speculation circus. Instead of getting all worked up and calling Honey Bee crying I put it in perspective, recognized she’s excited and doesn’t mean me any harm, and tried to let it go. It sort of worked:)

So, last week when I realized my baby trifecta and begged the universe to help me deal with it I didn’t mean “make me so sick I can’t do half the baby stuff and so tired I don’t care about the stuff I do end up doing,” but while it isn’t my first choice, I will say that a nasty plague is one option to getting through the hoildays with a minimum of baby stress. You’ll be so obsessed with your raw nose and stuffy head that you won’t notice your empty uterus as much.

And I’m feeling much better, thanks for asking!

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