F*ck Off! Really! I mean it.

I know we are quite emmeshed at this stage in the game. Given we have more than 10 years together, our co-dependent relationship won’t be severed very easily, but why must you ramp up your attention 10 fold? I’m accustomed to and willing to tolerate the occasional tryst a few times a week or even once a day, but now you keep coming back for more and more. I stopped counting your assaults yesterday and today I’m so sick of you that I’m about to cry.

As much as I want to claw it off my body I really can’t remove my sweater as that will leave me topless, and while I’ve been known to complain that they use and abuse me like a rented mule, my firm isn’t exactly that kind of establishment. Furthering my frustration, my boobs are so sore I’d like to take them off for a few days and try again, so this can’t be low estrogen. What gives?

I romance you with patches and potions, dutifully switching my rings and estrogen stickers on a timely basis. In fact, I just gifted you with new vaginal jewelry (Femring) January 1!

I’m about to take a steroid pack for your cousins in autoimmune rebellion-joint pain and fatigue. You best leave with them or I’m going to have to bring out the big guns…that’s right, shape up or you’re getting sent to the RE.  If I’m going to feel like I’m on fertility drugs I might as well actually be on them.

Two can play at this game, Hot Flashes, so cut the crap or I’m going to kick your ass!