The premature ovarian failure guarantee, like death and taxes, is that you get to schedule your period. Bad news: infertility and feeling old before your time. Good news: no surprises and the superhero ability to wear white pants without fear.

Dutifully every 3 months-ish I take Prometrium for 10-ish days to bring on a period and prevent endometrial cancer, or so my RE reminds me in his most stern voice when I admit to my avoidance of everything progesterone.  I’ve been using the same estrogen and progesterone procedure for over 6 years now, and I’ve had several spotting experiences, most recently this summer, but this is a lot more than spotting.   I came back from the gym to find bright red blood in my unmentionables. Sigh. Note to self, bad things happen when you exercise:)

At my annual exam3 days ago I mentioned my continuing lower left side pain, but I believe that it’s probably something totally unsexy and embarrassing that involves my intestines since my lap was clear this summer. I know I have no masses or cysts (he told me this with such excitement, like I should be proud of my mass-less abdomen). If this really is a period it explains the recent hot flashes, bloating, and the tears I shed for no reason while sitting at my desk at work yesterday…yeah, that was classy.

Reproductive Organs: I’m tired of this constant need for attention. Can’t you just chill the fuck out for a while?

Uterus: You were just in for your 100,000 mile tune up. Everything was perfect! Why the oil leak the minute I drive you off the lot?

I’ll pee on a stick in the morning so I can cross that off the list as everytime anything goes wrong or the status quo changes I throw pregnancy tests at the problem, and if it keeps up I’ll call the RE Monday. Right now I’m drinking a pinot noir. Care to join me?