The summons arrived the other day, but as with much of my life, I couldn’t be bothered with it immediately.

“You’ve been selected! ”

My mind flashed back to middle school gym where that phrase would have at once  thrilled me due to  the popularity implications and frightened me in anticipation of the impending injuries to self and others. But, it isn’t seventh grade volleyball; it’s JURY DUTY.

justiceUggg. Thanks to moving almost every year the majority of my 20’s I have, until now, avoided this particular right of passage. I know I try to be all mysterious, but fear not  Dear Readers, my relocations didn’t take place in the middle of the night or because I was on the lam; it isn’t like I was one step ahead of  a warrant.  I moved to attend several grad schools, and due to my uncanny ability to place myself in the path of danger, I was forced to evacuate following  natural and man made disasters. Thus, for a period of 5 years, I could fit the majority of my belongings in a compact car whose manufacturer has since been made obsolete due to an  embezzlement scandal- I know how to pick em!

I’m not anti jury duty. I realize the importance of giving back to my community, but the thing is, they won’t pick me. Due to my job there is no way I will be chosen for a jury. So, attending the cattle call is a huge exercise in futility and will cost me time as well as money since as a consultant, I don’t get paid if I don’t work, and thanks for the $4 daily stipend for my efforts, Oh Great City of Mine, but that doesn’t even cover my transportation.

You all know what this means, right? I have to get pregnant. Pregnancy is an automatic get-out-of-jury-duty-free card in my city; yet another thing the breeders have that we, the infertiles, don’t. Sigh. It’s the only responsible way to avoid my civic duty, save time, save money, save the hassle, and most importantly, save my legal karma.

Bring on the fertility drugs!


Thanks for the votes! Because the majrity of you told me to, and I appreciate it when I’m able to blame others for my decisions, we are planning on starting a cycle very soon. The logistics need to be worked out, but we are pretty much back on the horse…..or at the very least back in the barn. Details to come