ClipArtBigPlaneFreeHoneyBee  has been overseas for weeks on a project that seems to never end. He was supposed to be home more than 3 weeks ago. He consented to this cycle with excitement and many promises that he would be back in time because this project was, “just about to finish up!” Ha!

I sit here with a 14 mm follicle and the sperm is still an ocean away. Given the nature of this contract, he needs special permission to pick up and leave in the middle of the project to come home and attempt to impregnate his partner. The family medical emergency travel excuse  is in place waiting for me to tell him that I’m approved for trigger at which time he’ll fly back for a few days of carnal fun. At least that’s how it is supposed to work. I envision travel logistic hillarity will ensue. It always does.

Yesterday he informed me that I’ll need to get a note from my RE to substantiate his request for a leave.  He giggled as he told me I need to get a prescription for sex for his file. I accused him of making me do this purely for his own ammusement and not for documentation purposes.

I’m trying to find the right balance between protecting my privacy and making it clear that his appearance (errr that’s what the kids call it these days?) is essential.

My suggestion:

Dear HR Person I Don’t Know:

Barren is under my care and her medical condition necessitates that HoneyBee return home for days X-Y.

HoneyBee’s suggestion:

Dear HR Person I Don’t Know:

It is medically necessary that HoneyBee return home for days X-Y to have sex with Barren. A lot of sex. Repeatedly.