emerald cityToday at baseline monitoring I told my nurse,

“This is becoming part of my routine, and I’m pretty sure that’s not a good thing. I’m over it.”

We then proceeded to have a half hour conversation about attempting one round of IVF with a low responder protocol (like estrogen priming) with the knowledge that it would probably be converted to sexing or IUI. I have been thinking a lot about what I need in order to feel like I’ve given this my all, and I think I need to know that we grabbed all of the really expensive drugs, complicated protocols, vats of estrogen in various forms and methods of delivery, and the possibility of needle aspiration through my vagina and said,

“Yes , please.”

Unfortunately, this is a very expensive way to gain closure, especially as I’ll most likely do donor egg if this last ovarian assault is undertaken and fails (which statistics say it will), and the money might be more practically used to just go straight to donor egg. Obviously we have more thinking to do on our own and as a couple. We also need to trick a doctor into IVFing me.

My RE is on vacation. I will have a consult when he returns.

Through luck, timing, fine phone finesse, and a sympathetic scheduler I managed to score a consult next week at one of the top poor responder clinics in the US -the Emerald City of the Ovarian Short Bus. I happen to be visiting said city, and I decided this morning to see if there were any cancellations. There was one. It is now my appointment.

We will just be gathering information. I don’t know that either the Ovarian Short Bus Lovers or my clinic will agree to give me a try. I don’t know that we can afford it even if they do. But, I do know that I won’t know unless I ask.

In the mean time, I stick to the routine. I started Follist.im tonight.