Infertility is inconvenient Thursday, Aug 13 2009 

As you may have noticed, I’ve dropped off in commenting and posting over the past few weeks. I think of you all and wish each and every one of my real life and  imaginary internet friends 110% success in their family building.

In the last week I have been laid off, found out that I am ineligible for IVF at one of the top poor responder clinics in the nation, and handled two stressful personal matters. As an extra suck-tastic bonus, the day I lost my job I gained something in return: a very large traffic ticket. Interestingly, I don’t own a car, hardly ever drive, and was borrowing a friend’s car to attend a party to take my mind off my job loss.

I think it is time for some introspection.

As much strength as I have gained from blogging and reading, I’m going to step away from the computer for a little while as we determine our next steps and the actions necessary to feel like we have given this journey of prescription sex, vaginal scans, abdomen bruising contests, and hormonal hell  our all.

Please forgive my absence, remember that  this community is very valuable  to me, and know that I’ll be back once I feel that I have a better handle on a more well-rounded life that focuses a little more on my strengths and a little less on my ovaries.

Thank you for reading.

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Follow the yellow brick road! Friday, Jul 31 2009 

emerald cityToday at baseline monitoring I told my nurse,

“This is becoming part of my routine, and I’m pretty sure that’s not a good thing. I’m over it.”

We then proceeded to have a half hour conversation about attempting one round of IVF with a low responder protocol (like estrogen priming) with the knowledge that it would probably be converted to sexing or IUI. I have been thinking a lot about what I need in order to feel like I’ve given this my all, and I think I need to know that we grabbed all of the really expensive drugs, complicated protocols, vats of estrogen in various forms and methods of delivery, and the possibility of needle aspiration through my vagina and said,

“Yes , please.”

Unfortunately, this is a very expensive way to gain closure, especially as I’ll most likely do donor egg if this last ovarian assault is undertaken and fails (which statistics say it will), and the money might be more practically used to just go straight to donor egg. Obviously we have more thinking to do on our own and as a couple. We also need to trick a doctor into IVFing me.

My RE is on vacation. I will have a consult when he returns.

Through luck, timing, fine phone finesse, and a sympathetic scheduler I managed to score a consult next week at one of the top poor responder clinics in the US -the Emerald City of the Ovarian Short Bus. I happen to be visiting said city, and I decided this morning to see if there were any cancellations. There was one. It is now my appointment.

We will just be gathering information. I don’t know that either the Ovarian Short Bus Lovers or my clinic will agree to give me a try. I don’t know that we can afford it even if they do. But, I do know that I won’t know unless I ask.

In the mean time, I stick to the routine. I started Follist.im tonight.

Thanks for the luv Wednesday, Jul 29 2009 

Thank you all for the love. I am still climbing out from my backlog of VERY URGENT work tasks, emails and requests that aren’t so very urgent after all, but being a lowly peon, I don’t get to assign urgency. I have a funny story to tell you, but you’ll have to be patient while I continue to be selfish.

Selfish, Barren! Selfish! Selfish!

Calling all Infertiles! (Especially low responders aka-the ovarian short bus riders*):

Does anyone have experience with steroids during their stim cycle? I’ve been using a Medro.l Dose Pack at the start of my cycle, and based on my joint pain I think that it is still working at dampening my immune system for a few weeks post first dose, but it is not the same as taking a low dose steroid each day until beta.  I’m curious about protocols and dosing for those of you that take other types of steroids. Will you share your experiences including dosing amounts and days?

For the low responders (especially those of you that have done IUI or timed sexing, but I’d be happy to hear from the IVFers too), how much Follist.im (or other stim) have you taken? My RE tells me that upping my dose much more is just overkill and will be throwing money away without making much difference in my follicle growth or numbers. I’d appreciate hearing from women that are low responders regarding this issue. FYI-I’m at 200-250 a day.

Finally, does anyone know if there is a benefit to starting on day 2 versus day 3? Is this specific to low responders? Anyone with a friend of a friend’s cousin’s girlfriend that was totally barren for 234235 years only to secretly switch her stim start date and fall pregnant with 436956 babies?

Thanks, and I owe you all lots of attention, comments, and funny posts.

Smooches!

Barren

*if this offends you, I am sorry. My ovarian failure offends me.