Due to my treatment break for the better part of the last year I haven’t had my girly bits attended to nearly as often as usual. As a result I had to go in for a real annual exam today instead of just asking if the RE would throw in a bonus Pap with the regular wanding* during monitoring, my previous method of procuring cervical swabs.

I’ve only met my gynecologist a few times (see above mentioned regular dates with the RE, and as a big fan of monogamy I don’t like to cheat on my providers). He’s this funny little nervous man. I find it positively hysterical that he, in all his jumpy awkwardness, woke up one day about 20 years ago  and decided he wanted to spend his days dealing with women and looking at vaginas. Don’t get me wrong, I really like him, he’s smart, and he happens to be buddies with my RE which he strangely like to tell me every time I see him, but it facilitates communication between doctors which is hard to come by, and I’ll take it where I can.

Last summer when I had some random spotting and couldn’t get in with my RE he told me that my RE was on vacation and was surprised I didn’t know. Ummm, It may seem like I spend more time with the RE than with HoneyBee at times, but he doesn’t check with me before he makes his travel plans.

The exam was quick and gentle-that’s how I like my dentists and gynecologists, and frankly it’s probably a good rule of thumb for first sexual experiences as well. As I was leaving he told me that he doesn’t need to see me until next year, but he expects to see me again in a few months when I’m pregnant, and he really thinks we’ll be successful with more treatments. I think I appreciate the vote of confidence, but I’ve been having nagging doubts and wondering if I’m chasing this biological child dream for naught.  What if my miscarriage was the closest I’m going to get?

*spell check doesn’t recognize ‘wanding’ as a word. It obviously doesn’t speak infertile as any barren lady will tell you wanding is DEFINITELY an action word